Saturday, November 09, 2002 4:35 PM

Result Merchanting

PITBULLS:

The worst infliction imposed on Bridge players is the result merchant . This is defined to be a person with the personality disorder that thinks the result justifies the means . This person thinks that if game or slam is there or a killing lead could have made then the partnership is somehow guilty of a mistake . This realization is normally accompanied by some displays of temper or uncalled for remarks .

Result merchanting makes no sense . Bridge has to follow the laws of probabilities derived from random dealing of 52 cards . There are millions of statistical outcomes with that randomness . To say that one particular outcome ( the result ) should be the determining factor is fallacious to say the least . What about a thousand other outcomes dealt where the partnerships decision would have been correct ? Who says the result merchant is right and I am wrong ? Just because she would have not have made the bid does not necessarily make your bid wrong . Bridge is just too complicated to get the maximum result for every hand . If it were otherwise , Bridge would cease to be a game and be boring and predictable.

Equally fallacious is saying that there was only one correct bid for one of these random outcomes . Please examine the Bridge World magazine from the 1940’s to present . World class experts make different bids for the same hands in every issue . Even World class partners make different bids for the same hands . How can a result merchant justify saying that you should have made the same bid as she was thinking of at the time ?

The auction goes 3♠ passed around to you . You are vul and you have 14 HCP 2-2-5-4 . If you doubled you can go for your life as you do not have hearts . You reluctantly pass and partner notices that you are cold for 5 of a minor . The result merchant will now jump on you for not doubling and worst of all will do it at the table . This behavior should be recognized for the deviancy for what it is and you should take out your mace and squirt him with it . J

O.K. result merchanting vrs actual learning . I feel that away from the table in a hotel room , bar or wherever the partnership should now go into “result merchanting” to find out if there is anything of value for learning purposes . If the partnership did violate a partnership systemic bid or understanding it has to be corrected . If partner did miss an inference on the bidding , that should be corrected for next time . Poor hand evaluation should be pointed out if that was the culprit but the tone should not be angry or indignant or condescending . Humans ( even Bridge players with thick skins ) do not need that . Ego preservation first and learning comes second . Blame is not even a consideration as that seems to be the ultimate goal of the result merchant to fulfill some sort of ego gratification. Steer the bad result away from the result merchant at all cost.

It is such a pitiful sight watching two “result merchants” going at each either . Neither one giving in as they have to be “right” above all else . Logic does not enter in the discussion as they are too close minded anyway so it always resorts to a shouting match where the biggest bully usually prevails. This accomplishes nothing of course other than having other players shake their head at the spectacle. Result merchanting must be recognized for what it is. Rationalization to protect an insecure ego. In other words , a personality disorder.

Result merchanting gets into the way of actual learning. The players who is trying to elevate her game has to be able to know the difference or it will drive her crazy . The best alternative is - do not be a result merchant . Bridge players are adults and there should always be a why factor if the result was bad . The why factor might have been unavoidable or will be corrected for next time…