Thursday, February 10, 2003 1:05 AM
Hand Evaluation - Bridge Ego's
PITBULLS:
In any sport you need an ego i.e self
confidence to play at a high level. Sports reporters quite often report
that athletes are self-centered or egotistical . This is not
by accident .
They are the best in their sport so if they did not have a high opinion
of their abilities they would not play as well .
Simple as that . You need to feel that you are better
than the opponents or at least just as good to be in the right
psychological frame of mind for success . I am not
sure but I think sports psychologists work on “pumping up” an athlete’s
confidence so that they can perform at a high level.
The corollary to this is that professional athletes never criticize
their team mates when they make an error during the game.
If they did , the athlete would probably slug the
other guy in the mouth . They do not want their self confidence shaken by
anyone – let alone a team mate . I quite sure
hockey players can discuss the play in question in the dressing room later if
it might affect future plays . This should be done carefully & with respect . Anger , put downs &
otherwise ego damaging remarks again would result in let me say a “facial dearrangement” with a fist.
Bridge is a sport , a game where at the higher
levels we must perform at our best. In Bridge , at a
high level we have to borrow a page from professional sports . Preserve
a team mates or partners ego & self confidence virtually at any cost . It is a
human reaction to strike back when an ego has been attacked .
It is also a human reaction to extract revenge & hurt the person who has
hurt you. In Bridge , we consider ourselves too
civilized to physically strike anyone . To get our revenge we attack verbally
& we aim at the ego of the attacker . This is such
a lose – lose proposition . Some bidding
disagreements have to be brought to a conclusion because it may be systemic
so you want to prevent it from happening again .
It might be a judgment situation where in order to trust your
partner in future situations , you want to know the
thought process’s or rationale she went through on the bidding .
Quick analysis at the Bridge table
followed by lashing out at partner verbally is beyond stupid. Quite often
you are just “resulting” with a poor
analysis in the first place. These Bridge bullies are normally wrong more often than they are right .
They are just proving to everybody that they have social ,
emotional or psychiatric problems. The “victim” is your partnership as well as horrible “press” for yourself
as a Bridge partner & as a human being. The cause of this sickness ? The ultimate egotist
trying to convince partner
, herself or anybody
within hearing range what a superior being you are. However , just with an ounce of common sense , you should
realize you are sending the opposite message i.e. being an arrogant , boorish bully.
Being
90 % ego & 10 % water to define a Bridge player at the table is fine
with me. Insecurity has no place at the Bridge table. As
professional athletes know , insecurity hampers your
performance. Away from the table , this inflated ego
makes you a social boor. At the table , bring
it on. The strong ego prevents the intimidation disease which
is 100% effective in reducing your ability to perform. As long as you
treat partner & opponents with respect , I prefer
playing with a Bridge egotist.
Trust is a key concept in any team sport .
When you do not trust partner in Bridge , a number of
bad thinks will happen . You will not play forcing passes . You will trust the opponents
rather than your partner . You start to “master
mind” because partner is incapable of making the correct decision . Partner
can sense when you do not trust her
so insecurity creeps in. However , worse than all that , this lack of trust
will destroy partners ability to compete. Why , because partner needs her ego also to
perform well . There is room for two egos at the Bridge table ! You do not
need an abusive relationship where one is always right at the
expense of the other . You are wrong for even thinking that way let alone verbalize it !
As Klimo pointed out ,
Bridge is a religion to some players.
Without offending religious people , I have
observed that religious people are very dogmatic & inflexible. They will
not & cannot change their religious beliefs no matter what argument is
presented. Also, in
general , they will be rigid & inflexible in seeing other peoples point of
view . In Bridge this attitude is
very frustrating to a partnership . No matter what reams of logic you use to
get partner or someone you are mentoring to see the light
, she refuses to listen to any logic because it is against her Bridge
religion . Dogma like you never pull
penalty doubles , 4NT is always Blackwood , always need a trump stack to double
, totaling HCP’s is the only way to
bid etc.
Good rules to live by but to totally be inflexible like a religious
fanatic is dangerous .
There are some instance where a rote rule will not
apply at the Bridge table . Like a security blanket it
would be nice when these rules were always true, but in reality they are
not . When partner
does not comply to these rules there might be a valid reason . Do not burn her at the stake . Later ask her for her thought processes . You may be amazed that you have a thinking
partner with whom you should not be upset in the first place.
Mentoring
is hard on the ego .
Even though mentoring is designed to help & improve ones Bridge the realization that you could
have done better on many hands affects your self confidence so therefore
your play deteriorates . In a non mentoring
situations , you will play better because your ego
is preserved by partner not
pointing out your Bridge shortcomings at the table. Performance with a
strong ego ,
go hand in hand. Even when you are not all that skillful ,
if you think you are it helps . Young males are superb at thinking they are better than they
really are ! Admitting you are an alcoholic is the
first step to treating the disease. Admitting to yourself that you are not
as good as you think you are,
is the first step to getting better in Bridge. Refusing to
learn to protect your Bridge ego , is a
disaster. Park your ego at the door to learn.
Teammates , like partner , are not fair game either. Criticizing their
performance is a no no.
Anybody involved in team sports knows this simple law. Silence is
golden when things go wrong. Do not make matters worse . Compete with the opponents not your
partner or teammates. Deportment is far more important than any
Bridge results.
Away from
the table , after the match it is a different matter. Alibing,
rationalizing & outright lying to preserve your Bridge ego is a silly game to play. You are fooling
nobody. It is impossible to
learn if you are in a state of denial & in your own mind you
do not admit mistakes. Constructive criticism is just that, constructive
with a goal to improve Bridge skills. Destructive criticism is a
waste of time & a serious social blunder. Why would you ever want to
criticize somebody’s Bridge that you do not like or care about ? What a horrible waste of
time & effort on your part. Being a Bridge expert does not mean you cannot improve your Bridge. Unless your ego is
so insecure , you want
to live in a “fools paradise”
& never allow constructive criticism,
you will get better. Experts cannot stay stagnant. Lawyers , Doctors , computer experts all have to continue to
improve. The doctor or lawyer may already be the best in their field but there
can still be room for improvement. A reality check is required
, when you feel you are too good to improve in the game of Bridge.
We are not Bridge professionals . We play the
sport for enjoyment & we actually pay card fees .
We get our enjoyment out of Bridge by competing in a very cerebral
game & re-enforcing our egos when we do well. To watch a partner
destroy that ego with comments behind their back or at the table,
ridicule , anger & gestures
is nonsensical . You do not compete with partner ego vrs ego like two rams butting heads
. You have to let reason & bridge logic to dictate
. Let partner enjoy the game & perform at her best . You have no right to do
anything else …